i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is my gift to your gina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
