I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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