I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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