Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
