You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
