Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
