She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
