you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
