hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
