At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
