She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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