Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
