I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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