My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
