Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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