I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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