I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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