She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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