He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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