I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
