420 ftw
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
