There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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