You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
