me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
