ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
