everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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