the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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