Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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