After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
