I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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