So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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