hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
