I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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