To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
