Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
