What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
