PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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