cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
