and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
