dude i'm inner monologue high
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
