Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
