I've blown a few things in my day
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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