im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im part way to drunk.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
