haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
