I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
