if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
