Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
