...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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