i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
