Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
