She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
